


We didn't want to

by Mo_2020



Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Child Abandonment, Claudia Stilinski is Not Stiles Stilinski's Parent, F/M, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Mpreg, Nephilim, Nephilim Stiles, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sheriff Stilinski is Not Stiles Stilinski's Parent, Stiles Stilinski is a Winchester (Supernatural), reposted because I mistakenly deleted the original
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-07-30 20:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20103298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mo_2020/pseuds/Mo_2020
Summary: There was a gush of wind and then they appeared on the corner of a street, there four men standing. One of them is holding a little squirming bundle in his arms--*reposted, new chapters start on 8





	1. In the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is Reposted, sorry for every who had kudos, commented, bookmarked, and subscribed  
\--  
I don't own anything but the storyline

There was a gush of wind and then they appeared on the corner of a street, the four men. One of them is holding a little squirming bundle in his arms wrapped in a white blanket, his trench coat flapping in the wind and deep blue eyes filled with tears glaring at nothing because he's so angry. Not sad like his brother, Gabriel, who let tears flow freely, not used to human emotions, and unlike the other two men it wasn't been ingrained in him from a young age to be ashamed of crying.  
Not like the two brothers, the tallest is staring at the other in concern, because he knows this was his brothers' last hope for a real family, and here they are, in some small town in California that you barely find on a map and planning on leaving it there. Leaving that hope that had only started blooming eight months and six days ago, when Castiel had announced he was pregnant. Sam could still remember the smile that had grown on Dean's face when he had finally realized, no, the angel wasn't hopped up on Acid or possessed, but, yes, he was going to be a father, a dad.  
The reason that Sam is staring at Dean is because the new father is blank-faced. He's not crying, and he's not glaring because he's not feeling anything. Nothing but numbness and the deep sense of dread that had planet itself in the pit of his stomach the moment he realized that they were going to have to give away his child. No way were they going to be able to keep it him, not with angels looking to kill the "abomination" (Gabriel had almost died when he had dared to call the baby that in front of Dean) and demons wanting to recruit him to their ranks.  
Apparently, the child was a great conduit for good or evil. Which, Cas had explained, meant he had the potential to be very good, or very, very bad. He was a blank slate, not born evil or benevolent, like everyone else. He would be born with no moral compass, no guiding factor for his actions. A complete wild card. And worse yet, being half-angel also meant he would have the same powers, only, as a half-human, he would have free will and could determine his own fate.  
And that's why they're here, in the middle of nowhere California, with a baby, which was born a mere five days ago. Gabriel had insisted they wait long enough for Castiel to recover from giving birth and both him and their baby to stabilize enough to travel safely, but Cas still looks a little pale. Dean steps forward next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezed slightly. Cas' glare lessens slightly and he looks down. Dean follows his gaze down to the child in the angel's arms. The baby is staring back up at them with curious honey brown eyes. Even if they were completely different in color, the baby's eyes shone just as bright as Castiel's blue ones.  
Dean finally manages to drag his eyes away from the baby and he looks around them.  
"Why here, again?" he asks.  
"This is the safest place for him," Gabriel explains gently.  
Dean snorts. He wants to say that the safest place for their son is with them, but he can't, because it's not.  
"This is the most supernatural-free place in all of America." Sam goes on. "I checked, and there haven't been any supernatural or mysterious crimes here. He'll be fine, Dean."  
And Dean believes him. Because this child is Sam's blood too, and he knows that his brother would protect him with his life. All of them would. So Dean trusts that this is the best thing for their child, Cas and his, even if it makes him feel like he's dying. There's no way Sam would have let them leave the child somewhere that he didn't know to be safe.  
Dean gives a decisive nod and starts walking in a random direction. The others shuffle after him, none of them in a rush.  
"Should we-" Dean hesitates. "Should we leave him on someone's doorstep?"  
Castiel clutches the baby even tighter to his chest in response to that. "No."  
"Let's find a hospital or something," Gabriel offers.  
Cas nods face still grim.  
After a few miles of walking, they found a hospital with a sign that read 'Beacon Hills Marmoreal Hospital' they all stop looking up at sign before they each give the baby one last look. Gabriel and Sam walk a little way away to give the couple a moment.  
"We'll come back for you," Dean swears. "As soon as it's safe for you." He wipes his tears away with the back of his hand before stroking a shaking finger down the baby's face and then turning around abruptly to leave.  
Castiel gazes down at his child his tears stop - tear tracks covered his cheeks. He places a gentle kiss to he baby's forehead and closes his eyes. He feels like a piece of himself has been ripped out and put into the small creature in his arms, and here they are, leaving it here.  
"Excuse me?" A voice asks. It was feminine.  
Castiel doesn't open his eyes, nor does he lift his head.  
"Sir? Are you alright?" Someone taps him on the shoulder and Cas whirls around to face her. She's was caucasian, in her mid-twenties with dark brown hair, matching her dark oak eyes, that brushed her shoulders that were covered by a pastel blue nurses' outfit, concern painting her features. She looks like a good person. Kind and fair and loving. Good. That's good.  
Castiel thrusts the baby into the stranger's arms before he says to hell with it and take him back home with them. He knows that they have to do this, but that doesn't make him any less angry, doesn't dull the pain. "We had no choice."  
"What? Sir, what are you talk–" she starts, but Castiel doesn't let her finish.  
"Make sure that he is safe, and that he knows we never wanted to do this. That he was loved."  
And with that, Castiel turns and walks away, ignoring the calls of the nurse and the wailing of the baby. The anger fades to regret and tears start falling again down Castiel's face once again. This was the first time he had heard the baby cry and was probably going to be the last.  
"I love you...son" he whispers mainly to himself.  
Castiel walks back to their group and grabs a hold of Gabriel, who sends them back to the bunker with the same gush of wind in which they came.


	2. Blue, Black, and Yellow

[seventeen years later]

Stiles shot up in his bed, sweating, his breathing irregular, 'it is just a dream. I'm fine." he chanted to himself 'They were blue' Stiles thought recounted the extremely vivid dream. They were so blue that they look like they had storm trapped inside of them but they were filled with grief. They seemed so real, so familiar like he had seen them before, like a memory

He took slow deep breaths, filling his lungs with air. His room was still dark, filled with the room with the strange feeling of wrongness. He moved slowly, untangling his sheets as he went, slowly getting to his feet and stretching out his limbs. He looked down at his phone, 4:36. Stiles sighed as he walked to the bathroom to change 

The fall night air was a cool breeze, softly rushing through the tree's leaves. Beacon Hills was quiet tonight, quite peaceful actually. The residents of the town were in their respective homes either sleeping peacefully or enjoying each other's company.  
Stiles noted the quiet and peace the woods brought as his converse trudged through the leafy grounds.  
Stiles came to a halt at the top of a hill, with a little creek at the bottom running towards a small lake towering above the city. His honey-brown scanned the entire area silently taking in his surroundings. This was a chance to clear his mind, that's why he walked alone at night.  
He sat there back slumped, unmoving, making him almost blend into the dark. No one would have noticed him. That is until his head snapped towards a sound he had heard to the far left of him. Stiles didn't move but he kept his eyes in the direction of the sudden sound, contemplating whether or not to catch whoever was out there by surprise.  
Bushes rustled, getting the man's attention. Still, in the same direction, he caught a flash of a figure ran by. Stiles rolled his eyes, instantly knowing who that was.  
"Spying on me doesn't suit you Der"  
Derek walked out of the shadows with a sheepish grin "How did you know it was me?" Stiles rolled his eyes at him, "There are so many people in this town who would walk in the woods of Beacon Hills a 5 in the morning. Everyone knows that." He shrugged. "You were just a hunch."  
Derek grinned, walked closer to Stiles, and sat down next to him. "Can't I be worried about my boyfriend" Stiles ignored him and stares off into the distance. Of course, Derek continues "Out on your nightly walks again?" Stiles shot him a surprised look "I know how to wake up in the middle of the night and come out here. Stiles, you know you can tell me anything right?" There was a hint of worry in his voice when he said that.  
"I have my reasons for being out here," Stiles said as rested his head on his mate's shoulder "I'm still trying to figure out why you're here though."

"I think you should be more worried about why you're wandering around the preserve than me"

"I see them whenever I sleep," Stiles finally says after a moment of silence, his voice so low that Derek's sure he wouldn't have heard him if it wasn't for his supernatural hearing.  
"What"  
" I see them whenever I sleep," Stiles repeated  
"Who?" Derek demands.  
"It's when I sleep- when I dream- I'd see them," says Stiles, ignoring Derek's question. "And it's like my brain is trying to remind me of them." Stiles finally turns to look at Derek, eyes glassy  
"Of who?" Derek asks again, his voice softer. "I don't know," Stiles whispers, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

Derek's wolf whined he hated seeing Stiles like this. " Come on," he murmurs to Stiles. "Let's go to my house it's closer." He carefully helps Stiles to his feet, Derek stopped dead on his tracks, making Stiles more alert, he was sensing something.  
"What is it?" Stiles asked. Derek shushed him.  
"I can hear people," Derek's voice came out as barely a whisper.  
"So, if they are just people what's the matter?"  
"I don't know but something's off. The closer they get, the clearer I can smell it,"  
"Smell what?"  
"Sulfur,"  
A few moments' later four men appeared through the trees in front of them. They were all relatively tall and barrel-chested, with scraggly beards, they all looked to be about the early 30s. They had a look on their faces something Stiles didn't trust. He pulled himself up slightly, against Derek so he was stood straight. He didn't know why he just didn't want to show weakness in front of these men. The tallest of the group stepped forward, they didn't seem surprised to have come across anyone in the woods this early. "Hey there boys," he said his tone wasn't unfriendly but it rang entirely false to Stiles, it must have to Derek too because he tensed up eminently. "What are you doing out here this early?"  
"Out for a walk, "Derek replied keeping his tone remarkably even.  
"At this time of day?" it was one of the other men and the one who had been talking shot him a menacing glare.  
"I could ask you the same question,"  
A blood-curdling grin washed over his face as he looked down to Stiles and his eyes turned charcoal black "I think we found him boys, the Nephilim."  
Derek snarled, they had turned their eyes black in a blink. "Now, now we don't want to hurt you boys, just give us the Nephilim we'll let you go." the oldest one smirked.  
"I know you're lying," Derek snarled "I can hear your heartbeat."  
It all happened fast, the youngest one of them started to attack Derek with some dagger that seemed to appear from his jacket sleeve, Derek only just managed to push himself and Stiles out of the way. He knew that his only choice was to leave Stiles while he fought, he didn't want to, but Stiles was only human.  
He shifted then and ran at the young one of the group, he snatched his dagger and threw it out into the woods. He grabbed him as the man tried to punch Derek but it was no use, Derek's strength was far superior, he picked the man up by his shirt and threw him at a tree black smoke came out of the man's mouth into the dark sky. The other three took the chance while he was distracted to try and gang up on Stiles.  
Stiles felt a surge of energy within himself, the black-eyed men looked shocked tried to escape in black smoke but he was faster than they were.  
A blind light engulfed Stiles and the three men. The light was gone as quick as it came.  
The men where at Stiles's feet unmoving. With their eyes burnt out.  
Stiles's eyes were bright yellow and his breathing heavily as if he just ran a marathon, he blinks a few times as his eyes return to their normal brown. He collapses forward then, nearly dropping to the ground, but Derek's there to catch him, to bring him down to the ground slowly.  
"Stiles?" Derek calls, frantic.  
"Der..ek?"  
"I'm here, I'm right here," Derek says, running his hands over his body trying to check for any injuries. Stiles's eyes started to slip close as Derek begged for him to keep his eyes open but his words fell on deaf ears. He had turned deadly pale and entire body had gone limp. When he touched his face, his skin burning with cold. He was beginning to panic, he couldn't be dead not Stiles. He listened as hard as he could, at first he didn't hear anything "come on Stiles," he mumbled and then he heard it, Stiles' heartbeat was slow and way too quiet but it was there and that was something. He knew that he wouldn't be able to wake Stiles. So he picked Stiles up, he was lighter then Derek thought but it didn't bother him. He barely noticed all he could think about was getting Stiles back to Deaton's. He ran as fast as he could until he reached his newly renovated home. He put Stiles down in his Camaro and sped off.  
He knew he was going way over the speed limit but he just had to get Stiles to Deaton as soon as possible. He spent the entire drive listening to Stiles' heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just combined changed the name and combined Blue and The Black Eyed Men in this repost because it seems to flow better but if you like the two separate chapters better you can find it on my Wattpad. 
> 
> Wattpad: stilinski_fanfic  
Tumblr: mo-2020ao3


	3. Heartbreak

[ seventeen years ago ]

Castiel clung to Dean, too weak to stand on his own. When Cas' knees gave out, Dean readily grabbed Cas to steady him. Dean's arm wrapped around Castiel's shoulders and the other underneath his knees carrying him bridal style, Castiel leans against Dean, his head resting on Dean's shoulder. Dean's lips twitch up into a slow sad smile, pulling him closer. The angle lets out a small whimper, wrapping his arm around Dean's neck. Taking their time, they slowly approach their room. He carried him to the room and gently eased Cass into the mattress. He wished he could do more than just physically support Cas at that moment but he knew it helped to give Cas the space that he needed, he knew he had had to be strong for him.

That night, Cas laid awake crying in his bed. He couldn't stop the tears as his whole body shook. He was quickly losing his baby weight, and couldn't let go of the memory of feeling the baby kick against his stomach for the first time. He loved him knowing that it was an abomination—he loved him even knowing that he was going to have to give him up.

Cas was startled when he heard his door open, trying his best to hide his tears. He was surprised to see that it was his brother Gabriel. "What are you doing?" He asked, sounding more relieved than scrutinizing.

Gabe silently lifted the covers, slipping into the bed with Cas. "I wanted to check on my baby bro," he answered, settled down next to him. Castiel shifted his weight with care, mindful that his wound was still healing from birth. He curled into Gabriel's embrace, hoping he could stay there and forget it all.

"Cas," Gabriel softly said his name, wanting to make sure he was still awake.

"Hm?" Castiel tiredly asked as he closed his eyes, listening to Gabe's even breathing.

"I don't want you to think that what I'm about to say is only because of what's happened," Gabriel explained. " I should have said to this a long time ago, but" he continued, trailing his hand up and down Case' back in a comforting manner. "I love you, Cassie, and it's going to be ok, it's in good hands now" he breathlessly confessed, sounding as if he was winded by the very thought of it.

Cas lifted his head to look at Gabe. "I already knew," he answered. A small but hopeful smile graced Castiel' lips.

"Mieczyslaw"

"What?"

Castiel sighed and sat up in bed. Gabriel did the same until they were both sitting up. "The Nephilim...I .. um... named him Mieczyslaw. Is a Slavic name of Polish origin and consists of two parts: miecz 'sword', and sław 'glory and famous', Dean doesn't know this."

"Cas..."

"I even wrote his name in the blanket that his... or was wrapped in...so maybe he could keep some of his old identity" Castiel started looking down at his hands softly crying. "I should've known....." Castiel mumbled, "I should've known the other angels would kill him and me without hesitation."

"Cas...you can't -"

"BUT IT IS!!" Castiel cried, "This is my fault if I hadn't been so naive, been more careful we... we would - "

"wouldn't have had to give up Mieczyslaw" Gabriel finished.

Cas slowly nodded. Gabriel wraps his brother in his arms letting him rest his head on his shoulder rocking gently while his baby brother cries himself to sleep. He whispered softly encouraging words in Castiel's ears as an attempt to give him the reassurance that despite the pain and heartbreak, they all would make it through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: mo-2020ao3


	4. Stiles

"Stiles! Stiles! Wake up, Stiles! Stiles!"  
Stiles finally opens his eyes to look at Derek. He's pale, he's so pale. His eyes are not the amber color that Derek is used to, it's like energy is being sucked out from him. And Stiles is trying to talk, but he can't. Derek watches him trying, but every time he does it's like he can't breathe.  
"Stiles, you're going to be ok. Please stay awake. We're almost there. Please! Stiles!"  
And he's out again. He checked all over Stiles' body, but he didn't feel anything wrong, so what's happening?! There's no wound, no blood- suddenly there's blood coming out from Stiles' mouth.  
He drives so fast like he never thought he would. One second his gaze is on the road and a second later on Stiles. It's terrifying because he can't listen to Stiles breathing and the smell of blood is overwhelming. Stiles' heart beat too slow and too low even for his werewolf senses. Derek doesn't realize he's still calling for Stiles' name and he has tears coming down on his face. When Derek realizes he's actually losing Stiles, he drives faster and focuses on the road. He calls Scott and maybe yells at him without wanting, but there's no way he can tell Scott what's happening with a calm voice. He yells like he's mad at Scott, and he is. He's so mad with everyone, with the world, with those men, with everything, because it's everyone's fault except Stiles'. Stiles didn't ask for this, he should never have been involved and Derek knew that. He knew and that's the worst because he failed to protect Stiles. Now Derek is angry and above all he's scared.

They finally get to the clinic where Deaton is already waiting, because that was the first thing that crossed Scott's mind when Derek called him. Scott was already rushing there, but like Derek told him: there was no time. Stiles had no time and every second mattered.  
A few minutes later Scott bursts through the vet clinic's door in a rush, head-turning right and left. The waiting chairs are empty, except for the alpha sitting to the one closest to the exam room.  
"Derek!" He called, stepping hurriedly to the lycan.  
Derek looks at him and stands up immediately. "Scott..."  
"Stiles..?" Scott asked with overwhelming fear in his voice. Derek's words ran through his brain, Scott feels like both wanting to curl into a ball and ripping out someone's throat. Some bastards hurt his brother and he wasn't even there. Some friend he is. Fuck.  
"Deaton's got him. But I don't know yet." Derek said miserably.  
Derek rubs his face tiredly, he still could not believe that all this had happened. Everything was just perfect a few minutes ago.

They appeared on the corner of a street, out of nowhere, there four men standing. One of them is holding a little squirming baby in his arms wrapped in a white blanket, his trench coat flapping in the wind.  
The tallest is staring at the man with dirty blond hair in concern, maybe because the latter is blank-faced. He's not crying, and he's not glaring.  
After a moment the blonde steps forward next to the one holding the baby and puts a hand on his shoulder. They both look down bundle like the world is wrapped in that white blanket. 'A baby' his mind supplies.   
The blonde manages to drag his eyes away from the baby and he looks around them.  
"Why here, again?" he asks.  
"This is the safest place for him," The shortest of the group replies gently.  
The blonde snorts.  
"This is the most supernatural-free place in all of America." The tallest goes on. "I checked, and there haven't been any supernatural or mysterious crimes here. He'll be fine, Dean."  
"Should we-" the blonde -Dean- hesitates after a few seconds. "Should we leave him on someone's doorstep?"  
The raven-haired clutches the baby even tighter to his chest in response to that. "No."  
"Let's find a hospital or something," The short one offers.  
The raven-haired nods.  
After a few miles of walking they stop in front of Beacon Hills Marmoreal Hospital, they all stop looking up at sign before they each give the baby one last look. The short and tall one started to walkway away leaving Dean and the raven-haired.  
"We'll come back for you," Dean swears to the child. "As soon as it's safe for you." He wipes his tears away with the back of his hand before stroking a shaking finger down the baby's face and then turning around abruptly to leave.  
The raven-haired gazes down at his child tear tracks covered his cheeks. He places a gentle kiss to he baby's forehead and closes his eyes.  
"Excuse me?" A woman asked.  
He doesn't open his eyes, nor does he lift his head.  
"Sir? Are you alright?" She taps him on the shoulder and he whirls around to face her. She looks familiar.  
"Mom" Stiles whispers he starts walking towards buts still is focused on the trench-coated man.  
The man thrusts the baby into her arms "We had no choice."  
"What? Sir, what are you talk–" she starts, but the man doesn't let her finish.  
"Make sure that he is safe, and that he knows we never wanted to do this. That he was loved."  
And with that, he turns and walks away, ignoring the calls of Stiles' mom and the wailing of the baby. The anger fades to regret and tears start falling again down his face.  
"I love you...son" he whispers.  
"Wait!" Stiles yells now running towards the man "WAIT!"  
The man turns back and for the first time, Stiles looked into the man's eyes...  
There blue.  
Stiles automatically comes to a halt  
The man walks back to his group and grabs a hold of the short man.  
They were gone.

Deaton looked over Stiles's form in contemplation, eyebrows furrowed and eyes set in a troubled gaze. "So a light emitted from Mr. Stilinski burning this men's eyes out then he collapsed and what did they say again?"  
Derek snarled at Deaton, angry that the man wasn't going out of his way to find answers. "That they found the Nephilim"  
Deaton walked to a shelf in the far corner of the back room, sifting through various jars of herbs. "Perhaps I can attempt to use s—"  
On the operation table, Stiles sat up ramrod straight, gasping like a fish out of water and shocking the two men in his presence. Derek lurched forward from his spot next to the steel table to steady Stiles, almost dropping the boy then and there when he was met with golden cracks invading those familiar whiskey-brown irises.  
Then he noticed the way Stiles was staring at him, how he was letting his emotions flood through his eyes like there was nothing to hide. Derek couldn't decipher those swirls of emotions. Derek stood frozen as Stiles wandered his gaze across his face, almost like he was in search of something. When Stiles kept this up without any signs of speaking, Derek grew more worried. "Stiles."  
"Derek,"  
"What happened," Derek said gripping his shoulders.  
"They're eyes," the boy breathed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same a before, I just combined Stiles 1 and 2 in this repost 
> 
> Tumblr: mo-2020ao3


	5. Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that I changed and added more to the most if you read the one before you don't have to re-read it but you can if you want to

[ sixteen years ago ]

365 days.  
It's been 365, they haven't talked in 365 days. Every time Dean sees him, there'll be a lump in his throat and he'll swallow and he'll swallow but it'll never go down.  
Cas sleeps in their bed. Dean sleeps in a chair in the war room, but he doesn't sleep knowing that the one he loves is suffering and he can't do anything about it. Maybe he can, maybe he can find that town, get his son back and bring him home. But he can't and he knows that because if he brings him here if he even makes contact with him he might as well sign his son death certificate because being a Winchester is a death wish in its self. At least there he's safe and not having to worry about heaven and hell tracking him down. 

"Talk to him," Gabe says one day while they are researching a case. "How?" he asks, and he's serious, how do you talk someone when the literally handed their child off to a stranger and have no way to see if they are ok or even just living. He has to be living though because he asks Gabriel every other day if he heard anything on angle radio.   
He finds himself in front of their door a hours after he talked to the archangel after half an hour of standing there he finally finds the courage to knock when comes the trems that he can't stall anymore.  
Cas doesn't answer.  
Dean leaves.  
"Did you talk to him?" Sam asks.  
_"No." _At least you can't say he didn't try 

366 days.

It's one in the morning or maybe a little bit after that he starting to lose track of the time as his days a are blending together in a slow painful and depressing cycle. He gets up.  
In sudden flare of confidence, he finally gets the balls to walk into their room. But he doesn't sleep he sits by Cas' bedside and watches him sleep, yeah Cas sleep now when he pregnant the baby took some of his grace, it must be painful dean thinks having a part of your self be thousand of miles away. Sometimes Cas sometimes talks in his sleep, he only ever talks about a baby.  
Dean doesn't know if he wants to listen.  
But he listens.  
367 days.

Maybe Dean goddamn lost his mind because he gets out of the chair and he goes to the bed and he slips in under the sheets. As soon as he does, Cas gravitates towards him, seeks the warmth that Dean's body heat provides and then Dean finds himself holding Cas, finds himself with Cas' cheek pressed to Dean's chest.  
And maybe Dean's even more foolish because, after that night, Dean sleeps in the same bed with Cas.  
380 days.

This time Cas is awake. "Mieczysław," That is the first thing he said to Dean in 382 days.  
"What?"  
"That was his name,"  
That night Castiel cries  
Dean leaves because he can't handle it, it's too painful. He goes back to the kitchen. He presses a hand to his mouth hoping the physical pain will distract him from the throbbing pain of his heart. He sinks down to the ground.  
He tries to breathe.  
He heaves.  
He drops his hand from his mouth.  
He takes long breaths.  
The long breaths become shorter.  
He's gasping.  
He can't breathe.  
He presses his hand to his mouth again and muffles his cries.  
382 days.

_"After the baby is born I want to marry you," Cas stated laying a hand on his flat stomach._  
_"After the baby is born" Dean promised, swopping down to capture his angle's lips in a kiss._  
<strike> _They don't know then_ </strike>

"You wanna get married?" Dean says then and it's as sudden as everything else that happens with them. For a moment, Dean thinks that he's joking to himself, joking when he asks Cas, but then something within Dean—a knot in his stomach, a knot that's been there for much too long—seems to grow even tighter.  
He's aching.  
He's pining. He's pining so goddamn hard and he wants this and he wants Cas and he wants Cas to say yes.  
But it's dangerous territory.  
"I promised you I marry you remember..."  
"After the baby is born" Cas voice cracked  
459 days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: mo-2020ao3


	6. They're Suffocating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same as the other two just combined He's suffocating and What's Wrong into this chapter

_He closes his eyes momentarily and when he opens them again he's no longer in the library. As he looks around he realizes he's in his and Dean's room. Sam is the first person to appear in his line of vision. "Gabe pass me the morphine." he can hear Sam demand and when he turns his head he sees Gabriel with a large needle. "The placenta must have detached," Gabriel says with one hand glowing on his stomach._

_Sam takes the needle from Gabriel and stabs it into his' leg earning a painful grunt. "It's coming as fa--" Gabe doesn't get to finish because Dean is cutting him off. "We have to do it now." Dean hisses grabbing the angel blade. He's only seconds away from cutting into his' stomach when Sam grabs his wrist tightly in his hand. "Dean! Let the morphine spread." he snaps at him._

_"There's no time, the baby's dying!" He snaps back at him making his' heart rate climb. "Get 'em out now!" He screams out in pain as tears rush down his face. The contractions are getting the best of him as he sobs and chokes on tears of pure agony._

_"Cassie, look at me," Gabe says and when he does, Dean is cutting open his womb. He gives a blood-curdling scream when Dean stabs into his womb. He doesn't stop screaming and crying until Derek has taken a small break everything is okay (when it's not). When Dean continues he is sobbing uncontrollably, and slowly slipping away from consciousness. "Hurry!" Sam yells at Dean. "I'm tryin'!" Dean shakes his head. "Castiel! Stay focused, keep your eyes open." Gabe demands. "No! Th--eir suffo--cating!" He screams looking to Dean with blurry vision. He sees that Dean bending down and disappearing from his line of sight._

_When Dean emerges, he's covered in blood but never the less he reaches holding a baby. He feels another wave of pain surge through him before he finally slips away from consciousness._

Castiel shot up from the bed, drenched in sweat. He draws in painful, ragged breaths, head bowed, clutching his belly desperately as he fights through tears. Next, to him, Dean stirs in his sleep probably from him abruptly sitting up. He took slow deep breaths, filling his lungs with air. The room was dark and smelled like sex reminding him what they did a few hours ago.

Dean pulling him down on the bed and kissing him. Passionately. And, before either of them knew it, clothing was being ripped and hands were everywhere. The next thing he knows his screaming dean's name.

Trying not to wake up Dean, Castiel slowly got up putting on his discarded clothes and walked back to his room across the hall. Cas locks the door behind him, he presses a hand to his mouth as he sinks to his knees. He sits there on the cold floor as he muffles his cries.  
The dream plays over and over in his head taunting him on where he went wrong. Castiel sighs, picking himself up from the floor of his bedroom. Padding into the bathroom, Cas looked in the mirror. What he saw was a skeleton, someone who hadn't bothered to properly feed themselves as of late.  
It was true, he barely knew who he was anymore. Definitely not the person he was before, someone new.  
Someone foreign.

Castiel walked into the kitchen where only Sam and Gabriel were sitting. "Look who's here, by the sounds of last night I thought you wouldn't be up or be able to get up." the archangel teased. Castiel ignored the remark; he wasn't in the mood for Gabriel antics.  
"Hey Cas, you ok?" the youngest Winchester asked worriedly.  
Castiel sighed "I'm fine Sam... I always am." he muttered as finished pouring himself a cup of coffee.  
It was quiet until Dean walked in. Cas couldn't help but stare at the blonde.  
The angle licked his lips as he took his cup of coffee taking a sip.  
The way the hunter shifted uncomfortably told him that he was well aware of the fact that everyone at this table knew about what happened last night.  
Castiel stared at Dean over the rim of his cup as his lips curled into a line. The blonde stared down at his plate avoiding everyone's gaze. Clearing his throat breaking the uncomfortable silence Sam began speaking. "Uh- there's been a murder in San Diego, California, police report says a girl around mid-20's, she was murdered but no forced entry might be a ghost but I'm not completely sure." Dean furrowed his eyebrows "Kay, let's get packing."

  
It was Scott who broke the silence "Who eyes...what just happened!"  
"I don't know but I know what I saw." Stiles looked between his packmate and his mate, stopping at Derek.  
"What exactly did you see, Stiles?" Deaton asked.  
"I was four men one was blonde and the other had blue eyes and my mo- mom was there...and they gave her a ba-" he cut himself off. No that couldn't be possible.  
"They gave her what Stiles," Deaton pressed.  
The teen started breathing heavily on the verge of having a panic attack "I need to go .... my dad ..."  
Derek quickly put himself front of Stiles forcing him to make eye contact "Hey your okay, take breaths."  
Once the teen got his breathing under control; the werewolf broke the silence, "What's wrong, why do you want to see your dad?"

"I think I'm adopted."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: mo-2020ao3


	7. April 15th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that is reuploaded so it might be a while till I post again
> 
> Please leave comments to tell me how I'm doing and what you what to see happen next, it could really help me get over this writer's block; also if you are/know a beta reader, please contact me on my Tumblr ( mo-2020ao3 ) I could really use one, Thanks <3

_Stiles stood helplessly by the door of the hospital room that housed his mother for the last couple of months._

_“Hey”, She wheezed weakly as she stared up at the boy. “Co... Come c... closer, will you?” Slowly the young boy shuffles towards his mother’s bedside placing his small hand in hers._

_"They....never wanted this...for you.... they.... lo-" She never got to finish what she wanted to say before he was ripped away from her body._

The buzz of the Camaro’s engine was the only noise between them, in a seriously uncomfortable silence (god he wished he hadn’t told Scott to go home) as Derek breaks more than a few speed laws. The wolf was the first one to break the silence,

“Are you okay?”

“She never finished what she wanted to say” the boy replied ominously.

“What?”

“She never finished what she wanted to say” he repeated.

“Yeah I heard you Stiles, but what does that even mean”.

“My mo-”, he hesitated “She was tried to say something about ‘they’, but she died before she could finish”.

“Who's ‘they’.”

“I guess that’s what I’m about to find out”. Stiles said looking up as the police station can into view.

Before Derek could even full park Stiles hopped out of the car; hastily walking towards the station. Derek cursed under his breath as he finished parking (he already broke more than enough laws tonight and wasn’t about to get a ticket now). By the time Derek walked in Stiles had already barged into his father’s office, he caught up behind his boyfriend and closed the door trying not to start a scene.

“Stiles? Derek? What are you two doing here?” the sheriff asks when looked up and noticed that they were there.

“I want to see my birth certificate”. Stiles said coolly.

“Why?”

“I just want to see it”.

“You can see it but not right now”.

“Why not now”.

“Because Stiles, it’s 6 in the morning”.

“Is that the only reason!” now Stiles was raising his voice. Derek could smell the anger, hurt, and mostly fear radiating off him.

“What the heck are you talking about”.

“What day was I born”

“Stiles what is go- “

“Just answer the question!” Stiles snapped

John sighed but complied “April 15th”.

“No.”

“What is ‘no’?”

“No, that’s not my actual birthday”.

“Stiles go home, Derek please take him home”. John pleaded, Derek grabbed Stiles’ arm, but he shook him off.

“April 15th was not my birthday it was the day she found me!” Stiles screamed tears running down his face.

The sheriff paused looking at his son is disbelief before finding his words “Who told you?”

“When were you going to tell me”, Stiles’ voice cracked.

“I- “

The sheriff was interrupted when a deputy tentatively stuck her head into the door. “Sheriff, two pedestrians found three dead bodies and one unconscious man in the preserve, we’re heading out now”.

John ran his hand down his face and sighed “I’ll be there in one second” he called. The deputy nodded and closed the door behind her; the sheriff turned back to his son who was fuming, “We’ll finish this conversation when my shift is over”, then he Derek who looked little pale, “Derek, take him home please”.

The werewolf didn’t even wait a second before practically dragging the teen out of the station, who only retaliated a little before finding that it was no use.

The Impala got smaller with every mile as the tension grows thicker, Dean was driving gripping the wheel tightly getting more annoyed from, Sam, who kept sending worried looks his way. Castiel knew what was coming from 100 miles away when his brother finally shattered the silence.

Gabriel let out a loud sigh, “Is no one going to address the elephant in the car?”.

“What the hell are you talking about”, Dean clipped.

“Oh, don’t play stupid Dean, you and Castiel are sleeping with each other again”.

“What do you mean by again we never stopped having intercourse”, Castiel asked confused.

“I mean real sex, not drunk nooky”.

“Gabe!” sputtered Sam.

“What!? you know it’s true, we hear them every time!” Gabriel quipped.

“We could say the same about you brother” Castiel shot back.

“Well, at least a b- “

Dean slammed on the break making everybody lurch forward admonishing them “We are not talking about this, so everyone shut their pie hole!”

Dean put the car in motion and turn on the radio in an attempt to drain some of the tension, but he knew it was bullshit.

It was going to be an awfully long ride.

Derek and Stiles were parked in front of the Stilinski house, staring at it in front of them; none of them had said anything the whole ride there.

“Der…” Stiles whispered.

“Yeah?”

“We were in the preserve earlier, right?”

“Yeah”.

“Those men that showed and the ones the deputy told my dad about”, Stiles voice wavered as he continued “are they…did I- “

“Yeah” Derek sighed.

“Oh my God!” Stiles gasped out; he started breathing heavy, heading towards a full-blown panic attack.

“Stiles! STILES! You need to calm down!”

“CALM DOWN! I KILLED THREE PEOPLE!”

“Stiles! Please!”

“I MURDERED PEOPLE!” Stiles screamed “I can- I can’t breathe” he was starting to pant, Derek knew if Stiles didn’t relax soon, he was going to pass out.

“It was self-defense, please Stiles you need to relax. It was in self-defense, they came you after first” Derek assured as he wrapped his arms around his mate, saying the last part more to himself.

But Stiles’ breathing was still rapid.

“Stiles please calm down, please” Derek begged because he hated seeing him like this it made him feel useless.

After a few minutes, Stiles breath slowed a bit as he started to get ahold of himself.

“Derek?” he croaked

“Yes, Stiles?”

“What’s wron- What am I?” his voice was watery.

“I don’t know”.

“Deaton?” Stiles asked knowing that Derek would know what he meant.

“Yeah, Deaton”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: mo-2020ao3


	8. What Did He Mean

Derek had finally convinced Stiles to get some sleep while they waited for his dad to finish his shift. He only had to wait about two and a half hours before the Sheriff shuffled in, but Derek was leaning against the kitchen counter too lost in his own thoughts to notice. 

“Derek?” the older man asked, breaking Derek out of his trance. “What are you still doing here?” The Sheriff moved toward his secret stash in the upper cabinets. 

“I was making sure Stiles got some sleep before you came home,” Derek answered awkwardly. 

He and the Sheriff are not at all close despite Derek being mated to his son. They barely said anything to each other except when Stiles or the pack was around, usually talking about some supernatural occurrence. The Sheriff gives him an affirmative nod as thanks while pulling out an almost full bottle of Brandy and two glass cups, pouring about three fingers in each. “I know this is practically water to you, but it’s rude to drink alone in front of somebody,” he says as he hands Derek a glass. 

“Is Stiles adopted?” Derek blurts. He knows it’s none of his business but it’s been bothering him since the clinic. 

The Sheriff sighed and scrubbed his hands down his face. “Yeah he is, we- I was going to tell him, but Claudia passed and for a long time I was too drunk to function. Then for a couple of years, we just weren’t very close and I thought if I told him the truth he’d leave. And recently, with all this supernatural stuff, I barely have time to breathe.”

“What did he mean by April 15th being the day that she ‘found’ him?” Derek knew that he was getting too personal but he needed to know because it could help figure out what the hell was wrong with his mate. 

The older man hesitated before replying to the question, “Claudia was working a graveyard shift at the hospital when a man showed and literally dropped Stiles into her arms before ‘disappearing.’”

“Disappearing?”

“Yeah I know, I thought it was crazy too. I mean, how can someone disappear who was just in front of you? But then a couple of years later she was diagnosed and I thought that it was just an early sign that I missed.”

“What do you think now?”

“I don’t know. Do you think it had something to do with your world?” Realization spread across the Sheriff’s face. “How did he figure out he was adopted?” 

Derek hesitated, but that only seemed to make the sheriff more desperate. “How did he know?” The Sheriff pleaded. 

Derek sighed but told him the whole story; from how he found Stiles in the woods, to the fight with those  _ things, _ and then taking him to Deaton. By the end of the story, the Sheriff looked like he had seen a ghost. 

“So you're basically telling me that Stiles did that to those me- _ things _ .” 

Derek nodded his head slowly and the other man stumbled over to the dining table and lowered himself into a seat. “That can’t be possible,” the Sheriff mumbled. “Stiles is human. I know that he can’t kill people by burning their eyes out.”

The Sheriff shook off his fear enough to ask, “What is this nephilim, anyway.”

“I don’t know, but Deaton is working on it,” Derek promised. “What about the man that was unconscious?” 

The Shariff roughly rubs his hands against his face again, “He is still unconscious, so until he wakes up we have nothing to go on.”

“But you do,” Derek sadly argued. 

“It was self-defense, they came at him first and he didn’t even mean to hurt them,” The Sheriff snapped back. 

“Well, if anyone found out I’m not too sure they'll agree with you.”

“That’s if anyone finds out. I will destroy every piece of evidence to protect my son, even if that means I have to burn the entire Station to the ground!”

Derek may not know a lot about the Sheriff but one thing he was one hundred percent sure of was how much he loved his son. 

  
  


The Impala pulled into some dingy motel in the middle of San Diego. Dean got out to buy the room keys and when he was out of sight Gabriel stopped holding back, “So baby bro, how’s the sex?” 

“Gabe!” Sam sputtered.

“What! Don’t pretend like you don’t wanna know!”

“I don’t!” 

The archangel rolled his eyes, turning back to the astounded younger angel. “So how is it? Is it rough or slow, like really good baby-makin-” Gabriel cut himself off, realizing what he just said, “Shit, sorry, Cas, I didn’t mean-” but before could finish his apology the other angel was already out of the car opting to wait outside. 

Sam turned and faced Gabriel, “Seriously, Gabe, why do you have to keep picking on Cas about Dean and his private life.” 

“I didn’t mean to upset him. I accidentally used a bad choice of words,” the archangel defended himself.

“No kidding.” The younger Winchester sighed as he started getting out of the car when he saw his brother coming back. 

“The rooms are too expensive so we can only afford two rooms,” Dean announced, handing a key to Sam and Gabriel. “How about an hour to clean up then we meet in your room before making our way to the police station?”

“An hour is just enough,” Gabriel said suggestively, quicky dragging Sam to their room.

“Disgusting,” Dean gagged, then faced Castiel holding out the keys. “I’ll get the bags and you can go up and shower. The room is on the key.” The angel swiftly took the key and left. 

Dean sighed as he went to the trunk to retrieve their bags; he knew that Cas was going to be aloof the whole trip. They were close to the place where they had left him. Dean wished he could go back in time to change the past; he wished that he and Cas could finally be normal with each other again; he wished he never wanted a family with the angel in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking to long to post had a bad case of writers' block
> 
> Thank you to my beta reader Devra  
\---  
Sorry for the short chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: mo-2020ao3


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